Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Most Unsexy "Sexy" Halloween Costumes, Part Five

Halloween has come and gone and soon so will this beloved installment of The Junk Drawer. Here they are, the top five.

5. Ann B. Lance

The last time I was in an ambulance I had been in a car accident, lost (and retrieved) my left shoe and observed the general chaos around me. If my ambulatory experience compares to, or is better than that of other's then I think it's pretty safe to say that the whole rescue experience isn't a very sexy one.

4. Border Babe

"With her trusty binoculars, sexy border babe is tracking down illegal aliens while keeping a watchful eye on America's borders." Yup. This costs $54.99.

3. Deer Hunter

Look! It's Stiffler's Mom Goes Camping!

2. Texas Hold 'Em

I don't really know what to say about this one. I mean, do I make a "poker in the rear" joke? No, I can't (even though I sort of just did). But this costume, it's just too unreal for me, what with the fake hands on the boobs and the "hold 'em" title, it is so awful and tacky...and I love it. Like one of my new favorite shows, Kath and Kim, not a lot of people would like this costume, but much like Kath Day, who, in this week's episode insisted on getting a pumpkin carriage for her wedding day, this costume has no shame, and anyone who wears it, is probably a lot of fun.

1. Stud Finder
Here it finally is, the most unsexy "sexy" costume as deemed by The Junk Drawer. With it's oversized "man props" and cone breasts, it is so wrong on so many levels. Speaking of which, when will women just let the cone breast thing go? Maybe we can solve this riddle next year, but until then, I hope you all had a great Halloween!


Alex P. Keaton said...

I'm a little disappointed in the boots on that last costume. If there was ever an appropriate time to wear stiletto work-boots, that would be it. Opportunity wasted!

Annz said...

Pretty much love your entire halloween series. Although I think I prefer Anita Sedative to Ella Mental. A touch more class.
Golden stuff. Thanks for the tears...of joy.