Monday, September 22, 2008

Doppelgangers

Recently, while attending a party I overheard a conversation between two philosophical drunkards discussing the existing of a parallel universe in which everything is exactly the same as in the universe we inhabit, except just all opposite, as if flipped in a mirror. Usually these types of cliche conversations enduce a roll eye on my part, since not only is such a universe non existent, but socratic drunks are the worst, especially if they find a kindred spirit to chat up. This time though, they reminded me that not only is there no parallel universe, but the reality of time and space is much more bizarro since I am utterly convinced this earth is chock full of double entities. This is our tribute to natural duplication; we at the Junk Drawer give you:

Doppelgangers

Tucker Carlson/Michael Cassidy

-vs-

Tucker Carlson, most famous for wearing bow ties and being raped on air by Jon Stewart bears a striking resemblance to Michael Cassidy, best known for his role in The O.C. as boyfriend of Summer Robers who wasn't Seth Cohen. Coincidentally, reading Michael Cassidy's Wikipedia shows that he played the clone of Lex Luther on the WB's Smallville. Perhaps instead of a maniacal villian, Michael Cassidy is the genetic investment of a lame political pundit/dancing with the stars contestant.

Nick Jonas/Hallie Kate Eisenberg

-vs-

While searching for great commercials a few weeks ago, I came across an old Pepsi commercial from not so way back when. It starred that Pepsi Girl, Hallie Kate Eisenberg, who I remembered as being that annoying little pretentious kid who wrote a screenplay, which thankfully never saw the light of day. It then struck me that she looks exactly like the youngest Jo Bro, Nick.



Javier Bardem/Jeffrey Dean Morgan


-vs-


Jeffrey Dean Morgan looks so much like Javier Bardem that I'm pretty sure he's duped a lot of people into thinking that Javier Bardem not only has spotty taste in film roles but in the women he dates.

They look so much alike that it's compelling me to write a screenplay in which they play long lost relatives thrown together by happenstance and peppered with misfortune and xenophobic humor. Think Perfect Strangers meets Twins. You might think that Javier would so be above this idea, but he was in a film where he beat a guy to death with a slab of ham. Seriously.

3 comments:

Alex P. Keaton said...

How dare you take a jab at Mary Louise Parker! I will fuck you up. MLP is an angel made of all things sweet and wonderful in this world. Things like sugar, sunshine, wintermints, diamonds, ice cream, the smell of burning wood, and endorphins.

Slamm D. Unk said...

shes got nothing on penelope. CALIENTE!

Alex P. Keaton said...

ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun writing that screenplay, even though JDM won't even star in it so it will be in vain.



I know its like really late/early to be posting but this is what I do when I am drunk so chill out, readers!