Saturday, November 19, 2011

Jennifer Lawrence vs. Kristen Stewart

In just a few month's the entertainment world will beckon a new franchise, The Hunger Games. Set for release in March the YA novel by Suzanne Collins will hit the big screens as a big budget adaptation set to be distributed in hopes to capture the deep pocketed Harry Potter audience. It is not a magical wonderland like HP though as it deals with a dystopian future in which children fight to the death to secure resources for their communities. Whereas the Potter flicks had a few cushy years to introduce us to characters and sell grass flavored jelly beans to fanatics before shit got real the Hunger Games jumps right into the drama.

That being said, give it a shot, I read the first 2 in about 2 days each and plan on starting and finishing the 3rd one this Thanksgiving weekend and anticipate I will be digesting it before all the left overs are gone.

This brings me to my second point. I'm just a causal observer of the Twilight phenomenon, I've never read the books and have only seen the first movie, which was hands down the worst thing I've ever seen. That being said, my perception of the Hunger Games is that it's the Anti-Twilight. The main character, Katniss is kick ass, has skills that save the day and struggles to have her voice be heard. She's also self sacrificing and as the books progress grows into a more responsible and self aware person. Katniss is the anti-Bella in that she shies away from relationships because she wants to keep her family and friends safe from the dangers and obstacles that are seemingly unavoidable in her journey. Bella on the other hand is a damsel in distress and is forever creating problems that the male forces have to fix all the time. She sucks, no pun intended.

The casting choice the Hunger Games producers made gives me hope that Katniss will be portrayed in the spirit in which she is intended. Allow this comparison.

Jennifer Lawrence appears to be a confident, grown ass woman:

As opposed to Kristen Stewart who is continuously fidgeting, biting her lip and wearing converse sneakers on the red carpet like she's waiting for the school bus to pick her up. It's the sort of infantilizing look that persists in young starlets today that I detest:
Not to mention the utterly ridiculous tabloid fodder her and Robert Pattinson schill to convince more Twi-hards that this is star! crossed! lovers! ahhh! BARF. I hope Lawrence kills this role and her star rises. I really do.


It would be awesome if this franchise stirs up the kind of attention that Twilight undeservedly garners. It would be refreshing to have a feminist icon like Katniss being heralded by young girls and boys. Previews look great, my fingers are doubly crossed.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Mad Men, I'm Mad at you



Mad Men isn't going to be on until sometime in 2012 and I'm MAD. I'm starting to forget whatever happened on that show and it's going to now be a chore to get involved before the new season starts. I remember that Don got married to his secretary (and will probably ruin her life),
Joan is pregnant with silver-hair's baby and...AND...ugh is Peggy a lesbian now? Also, what year is it now? Or is it going to be? I hope it's 1989 and everyone has to endure wearing horrible make-up to look older and old Joan/dead silver
hair's now grown up son is played by a digital projection of Michael J. Fox (I'm looking at you co-blogger).

That would solve my other dillema with Mad Men because I'm not only stressing over how little I remember of this show but I am SO OVER every woman in America trying to dress like they are an extra on it. Seriously, the moment has passed because, we have gone into horrible mode.



Witness what was once great:



is now tacky and gross:
THIS IS NOT A COSTUME!

Mad Men, you are on notice.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Thursday, November 3, 2011

We're back (again) Like the McRib!

Hello,

After a long hiatus we have agreed to bring back The Junk Drawer.

Much like the title suggests we are back for more tasty tidbits of processed pig intestine that is then molded to look like ribs. Or, news and opinions.


Hi-five if you've never had a McRib!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Penelope Cruz's Explosive Hair Trick

Tonight during a very awesome episode of Gossip Girl (CHUCK BASS KISSED A DUDE! LOL) there was a commercial spot for L'oreal's new explosive mascara. The ad features one of my favorite actresses Penelope Cruz swilling some new beauty product with a strange application wand reminicent of some world of warcraft weapon stick.



But what really caught my attention was the way Penelope's hair seems to 'explode' on its own. TWICE.
Peep dis:

Oh, Sorry, the only version I could find is in German.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cirque Du Smell-le


Check out this skunk doing hand stands. I want a pet skunk RIGHT NOW! (with the stinker removed of course)

Monday, October 12, 2009

Visiting a friend this weekend in New York City had many benefits, but the one I would like to touch upon is being able to see "Paranormal Activity" during its limited release run in the NYC. Going to a 4 pm show on a Sunday, we were thinking the theater wouldn't be too crowded, but the audience was substaintial. The movie itself was highly enjoyable and stayed with both of us throughout the rest of the day. It's expected to be released nationwide soon as sales have been incredibly positive for the film which cost a couple thousand bucks to film.


In reading about Paranormal Activity I found a similar product floating around the youtubes. It's called Marble Hornets. So while you wait to see PA, take a look at these!








Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Zombie Blog!

We're BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK!

RAWR!

Zombie's know how to spice things up and in honor of our big time comeback here are my favorite examples of this theory.



Perhaps the most classic, ancient and famous Zombie of all time, JESUS!


Rest in peace Sam, "The World's Ugliest Dog"
wait! It Lives! (Oh MY GOD what would you do if that really happened? Thanks, Sam, I didn't really want to sleep tonight anyway.)


I'm all about symmetry. I'll see your Zombie Dog, and raise you a Zombie LOL Cat.

A Zombie anime translates as "Zombie Loan". If I were smarter I could probably witicize something remarkable about the economy; but I'm not. ANIME HAIR! lolzzz


sEXY ZoMbIE Striper PoRN! (link NSFW)


So tell all your friends that we're back and I promise that your bellies will be full of laughter!

Oh and follow us on Twitter, if you're so inclined: http://twitter.com/slammdunk


and so do we.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Don't Stop!

If there were such a thing as Fantasy Fall TV Lineup Leagues (someone please begin this!) my first draft pick would by Fox's fall comedy "Glee". Last night Fox wisely aired the Pilot episode and I'm already hooked.

Check the trailer



If you caught the pilot or even parts of the above trailer you must have noticed the show stopping cover of Journey's Don't Stop Believing sung by the main cast members. Both myself and my blogger in crime recently discussed said Journey song and how the usage of it in the media has shaped both of our opinions.
This, of course led to a line graph:


Highlights-
Staying Neutral in the 80s and 90s the real hiccup came about in 2004 when pre-Hills Lauren Conrad shared a duet with Stephen on Laguna Beach. BlecH!
As time heals all wounds 'Don't Stop' began to creep its way back into our hearts. When Journey decided to replace their lead singer with some guy from the Philippines that they found on the internet, props were given and the whole band, and their song book rose.
It was all good until the Sopranos Season Finale when the producers decided to be completely vague and stupid by ending their epic series with a fade to black, Journey blasting in the background.
This finally takes us to the here and now, "Glee" upped the ante with their rendition and time will only tell where Journey will take us next (while they laugh all the way to the bank with huge royalty checks). I can speak for my friend, Alex P. Keaton and for The Junk Drawer when I say with confidence that we will never stop believin'!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

A very special Mother's Day episode of Internet Sentence o' the Day



Backstory: Mom loves the shows Gossip Girl and Jon & Kate Plus 8. I sent her an e-mail about Jon’s recent affair with a young girl and this was her response..


I bet K will be pulling J’s hair transplants out or maybe plucking some from down under!


XOXO
Gossip Mom





-http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/





extra bonus


INTERNET PICTURE OF THE DAY



Monday, April 27, 2009

Doggie Dopplegangers Part 2

Sorry to all you Afghan Hound lovers out there, but Heidi Montag sort of looks like this breed of dog. If it makes you feel any better, she's definitely a lot uglier than the dogs. Much uglier.


=



Sunday, April 26, 2009

Celebrity Dopplegangers

I'm the type of person that constantly compares humans to the animals they look like. I've done it before on this site with my own dog. And I am going to do it again...



=

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

Happy Easter ya'll, it looks like it came just in the nick if time. If you recall, I gave up stalking Suri Cruise for Lent, but I found out today that she is in more need of saving then ever.

Suri Cruise is reportedly going to start Scientology "training" this week. "The children have a lot of responsibilities from a very young age," a source says of the school, which was started last year by Will Smith "The school is particularly strict about nutrition, demanding a low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet. Katie is understandably a little anxious about being separated from Suri.


My name is Suri Cruise


Put your hands in the air!

I came outta da womb


With a full set of hair!


Don't worry Suri!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Hilarious




In the vein of nostalgia laden programs such as I Love the 80s (the grandaddy of the genre) and all of its subsequent spin offs bred with "where are they now" VH1 will debut all this week "100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of The 80s" if you watch it not only will you remember all of your favorite 80's hits (Tenderness, Key Largo, Supersonic) you will also see how fat the fat girl in one of the best one hit wonder bands of the 00's, The Donna's got since her last vh1 stint.



Hosted by 30 Rock mocku-writer Judah Freidlander this mini series will remind you how awesome 80s music is. It definitely worked for me.



Tina Fey Just 'cuz

For instance, it reminded me how awesome this equation is:



Eddy Murphy



+


(NSFW)

Rick James, [(sorry, for the nsfw, I couldn't help myself) LOOK AT THAT CHICK GRABBING HER OWN ASS! hahahhaahhahahhaahhaahahahahahahahaahahah]


+


The 80s


=


Uh-duh the best video of the 80s









Sunday, March 29, 2009